


Body Language

by trackingthislamp



Category: Actor RPF
Genre: M/M, and haz is hopelessly insensitive, tom is overly dramatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 22:44:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13961658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trackingthislamp/pseuds/trackingthislamp
Summary: Tom declared a cold war against Harrison, and Harrison was more than confused.





	Body Language

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this back in last november idk why i only decided to complete it now!! but here it is. (also this hasn't been beta'd yet i'm sorry for any mistake)

Tom was mad, for whatever reasons.

It had been over 12 hours and they had not exchanged one word nor even a single look. Harrison raised his head up, looking at the opposite side of the room. His best friend (at least 12 hours ago he still was) was leaning against a table with his arms crossed. He held the script in his left hand as he nodded slowly to Doug’s instructions. Harrison was positive that Tom knew he was watching; because the longer he stared, the tighter Tom squeezed the papers.

Harrison let out a silent sigh and withdrew his look, scanning through the tablet in his hands absently. He felt a little bit upset, wronged but mostly confused. After all, he was still quite baffled by this cold war that was declared out of nowhere.

It all started from last night when Harrison came back to the hotel with a hot blondie he met at the local bar. Her name was Celine, or Sally, or Serena. Anyways, Harrison could have remembered her name better and shared a lovely night with her under the starlight of Montreal. But at the end she didn’t even spend more than 20 minutes in his room. Before he started bragging about his cooking skill that was not even worth mentioning, Tom crashed in his date night with full fury that Harrison still did not understand at all.

“I was looking for you! All God damn night!” Tom squealed with both his hands in the air. Harrison couldn’t help but wonder if he was still in Todd’s character to make him come off like a sentimental 14-year-old. “I couldn’t get no rest! No sleep! No free time! No fun! Nor even my own dog! And you? You just-you just out there, like, what, fucking around? Getting drunk? Having a blast? Hooking up with chicks?”

At first, Harrison tried to put himself in Tom’s shoes, understanding that the non-stop filming schedule had been stressing him out. But it all seemed like Tom simply didn’t want to calm down and decided to let out as much wrath as he could. The argument lasted for about one and half an hour and eventually ended with Harrison’s “I really don’t know what in the hell’s name you’re freaking out for” and Tom’s door slam.

12 hours later, Harrison still wasn’t quite sure what the point of the fight was. He tried to stay as rational as possible and rethought if he had been treating Tom poorly to make his friend full of pressure and rage. On the other hand, Harrison had also learned from their long-term friendship that Tom needed to go through his own up-and-down once in a while. Or as he always joked, ‘to adjust the two souls in his Gemini shell’.

But this morning as soon as Tom walked in the studio with only one Starbucks cup in his hand, Harrison knew the shit was fucked up. It was so fucked up that the Holland twins both turned their heads to look at him, mouthing ‘what have you done?’

Tom was incredibly mad, for whatever reasons.

 

“So, you gonna explain to us what’s going on?”

Harry sat down next to him, filling an entire sandwich into his mouth. Sam was making some tea a table away, and Tom was nowhere to be found.

“Good question. I wish I had the answer.” Harrison buried his face into his hands, having no appetite for anything. Harry narrowed his eyes and made a knowing “mmm-hmm” with his full mouth. Sam walked upon them, handing a cup to Harrison.

“You guys really went crazy last night. Sam and I were discussing if we should try to stop it before one of you committed a murder.” Harry finally swallowed his lunch. His tone was so flat that almost sounded like he wasn’t as concerned as he attempted to be.

“And, what in the world were you guys fighting over?” asked Sam, stirring his tea slowly.

Harrison replied with a shrug, “Sounds ridiculous, but I was, uh, spending some time with a girl in my room. Then Tom just broke in — who the hell gave him my room card? — and started yelling shit about me being a jerk, that I’m the biggest idiot in the world, blah blah blah.” He paused with a sigh, sipping from his cup. “And now he just won’t talk to me.”

The twins were both quiet, looking at Harrison without a word.

“What?” Harrison frowned, “Alright—I get it, you guys think it’s my fault. Look, I know Tom’s been quite frustrated, that’s why I don’t wanna be harsh on him either. But still, I really don’t get what exactly I did wrong to make him lose his shit like this.”

“Nah, you’re good, man.” Sam rested one hand on Harrison’s shoulder, “y’know Tom is pretty sensitive about certain things. And sometimes he just needs to…get them off his chest. Once he burns all his anger down, he’ll be fine again.”

His words sounded reasonable. Harrison looked down at his own reflection in the cup, “Yeah, I guess. After all, you boys still know him better than I do.”

“We’re just as confused as you are.”

But Harry interrupted immediately, “I beg a differ, Sam. We both know here’s only one person who’s confused, and it’s neither of us.”

“Huh?”

There was no response to Harrison’s questioning sound. All Sam did was grin at him like an insurance commercial. His hand was still on Harrison’s shoulder. “Don’t be overthinking, mate.” He assured, while his twin brother held up one finger and mumbled, “On the other hand…maybe just think a little more.”

Harrison couldn’t tell what he hated more; constantly being the clueless one, or the crooked smile that the Holland boys were both wearing now. He recognised that smirk. That was the same one that always appeared on Tom’s face when he got some terrible ideas.

“Oh, by the way,” Harry turned his head before heading for another cup of tea, “Remember that we went downtown last Friday night? Tom’s not allowed to get drinks since we made him drive us around. He was being all whiny about it, ‘cause you were so drunk that he even had to carry you back to the hotel.”

Before Harrison could recollect the vague memories, Harry finished curtly.

“ _You_  gave him your room card.”

 

 **Tom Holland**  ☑ @TomHolland1996  
Stressing day!!!!!! Don’t wanna talk to anyone thanks

 **Harry Holland**  @HarryHolland99  
Replying to @TomHolland1996  
Subtweeting?

 

It seemed to be a century long to Harrison by the time the last part of the day was done. Never had he been this wore out before. He usually took the fatigues at work as his own accomplishment. After all, this job was everything he could ask for. But right now, all he felt inside was defeated.

Tom’s attitude didn’t get any better either. Harrison tried to break the ice a few times, simply as an assistant instead of a desperate friend. Nevertheless, Tom still managed to dodge any opportunity for them to interact, leaving him standing awkwardly talking to the air.

The coldness between them had slowly transformed Harrison’s confusion into frustration. What made him more upset was that he couldn’t and didn’t want to blame it on neither of them. He knew that Tom had his own issues to deal with. On the contrary, Harrison didn’t think himself should take the full responsibility for the argument. This dilemma only gave him more headache. At the end, he turned down the crew’s invitation to the poolside bar, heading straight back to his room.

But just when Harrison left the lobby, he spotted Tom standing alone in the lift.

“Wait!” Before his brain could function, he was already hollering and rushing in the hallway. The marble floor was so slippery that he almost tripped himself. “Wait—Tom!”

Tom tilt his head up; a glimpse of surprise flashed through his brown eyes. Then he immediately reached to the close button, but Harrison approached the doors just in time.

“Fucking—hell.” He puffed hastily, partially from the running and partially from irritation. The doors closed behind, and Tom wasn’t looking at him. “Christ. Can’t we—can’t we just, have a peaceful talk, as two mature adults? High school was ages ago, and we didn’t even do shit like this back then.”

Only silence echoed in the lift.

“Come on.” Harrison whispered, almost begging. “ _Please_ , Thomas.”

The tension maintained for another five seconds, until Tom pressed down the button of floor 22. And he finally faced at Harrison, for the first time in nearly 24 hours.

“Fine.” Tom put his palms up, “Talk.”

“I-I-um…” Harrison stuttered. He didn’t expect that looking at Tom’s eyes would make this much harder. “I just-I just want to, uh, apologise to you.”

Tom raised up his eyebrow.

“I know that you’ve been under a lot of pressure, and I know you’re a perfectionist who always gives your best at work.” Harrison rubbed his fingers. He didn’t even know what he was nervous for. “As a friend of yours, I should offer you enough support and cares that you deserve, but I was only being selfish. So I’m-I’m really sorry that I couldn’t do better when I was supposed to be.”

The stiffness on Tom’s face slightly softened. He looked away to stare at the mirror, muttering, “and?”

“And…uh…”

There was, in fact, not a second part to Harrison’s speech. And Tom’s reaction didn’t give him any idea to extend his apology. As the lift went up, the increasing number on the floor screen was counting down to the end of this talk, which wasn't helping him to come up with something persuasive either.

Noticing Harrison’s hesitation, Tom slowly turned his head back. A whole new expression appeared on his face, one that Harrison had never seen before. It was not anger, impatience nor annoyance. Instead, it was sheer disappointment. It was an expression that left Harrison fully speechless.

Then, to Harrison's surprise, Tom started laughing.

“Holy shit.” Tom ran his hand through his hair. His laughter sounded more bitter than a sob. “You know what—I just realised that. It was never your problem. I am the only one who has a problem. Period.”

The lift stopped with a clear ding as soon as Tom drew the conversation to the end. But Harrison was not giving him any chance to escape. Before Tom could make a move, Harrison stepped in front of him and closed the door.

Tom threw his hands up, “The fuck d’you want? We’re done here.”

“We aren’t. Not when you’re giving me that attitude.” Harrison blocked the buttons with his body, glaring back at Tom.

“I’m tired.” Tom protested, “Let me out, Harrison.”

“Will do if you explain to me what is making you so upset!”

“Oh let me guess. The fact that you tryna trap me in a lift, perhaps?”

Harrison took a deep breath, “For God’s sake! Can you stop being so immature and just tell me—”

**“I don’t know!”**

All of sudden, Tom cut his words and started shouting at full volume. “I don’t fucking know! Ok? I have no idea what’s wrong with me. My head is burning and I don’t even know what I’m angry about!”

“Can we—”

“You think I like that? Picking on you for no reasons? Acting like a hot-headed asshole? Absolutely not! I’m exhausted. I’m too exhausted to even fight with you right now!”

“Can we not go back to all yelling and—”

“NO! I must! ‘cause this is exactly how messy I am!” His full body was shivering, as if he could collapse at any moment. “You’re right—I was just being immature. And much as you hate it, I hate it too. I hate it so much but I can’t help it! I can’t help but feeling so pathetic that whatever I do, at the end of the day I’m still just a friend to you!”

“What?” Harrison needed to scream with all his strength to suppress Tom’s shouting, “What are you even talking about? You are my best friend, and nothing’s going to change that! How’s that even a problem?”

Despite how bewildered he was, Harrison could still tell that was the last straw right after he finished the sentence.

“Oh my God, Harrison Osterfield.” Tom’s voice cracked, “You’re such a fucking idi—no, actually, it has always been me. I’m the huge fucking idiot.”

He turned his head away, eyes reddening. “I can’t believe I wasted all these years thinking one day you would notice. I thought you needed time. I thought you were only pretending. But no, you really just—you really just don’t understand.”

“Tom—”

“How could you never see it? How is it not obvious enough?” Tom covered his face with his hands, but Harrison could still hear him sniffing. “Why is it so hard for you to pay attention? What am I supposed to do to make you—to make you realise how much I love you?”

Harrison froze.

Not a single part of his body was ready for this confession.

“I…I…” His tongue tied, with his throat drying out, “I don’t…I…”

He couldn’t find a word, and his mind was in a weird status mixing with chaos and emptiness. Tom put down his trembling hands, “God,” a single tear sliding down his cheek, “Just—don’t say anything. Especially when you don’t mean it.”

“No!” Harrison exhaled, “Tom—please—”

Just at the moment, the doors were opened abruptly.

“Oh! Oh my.” Daisy made a startled exclaim, taking a small step back. She wavered her eyes between the two boys, “I didn’t know you guys are…I’m really sorry…um, bad timing?”

Her hands hovered in the air, cheek flushing from embarrassment. Harrison didn’t look at her, and he couldn’t look at Tom either.

“S’all fine.” Tom replied curtly, making his way out in a rush. “Night, Daisy.”

As Tom walked away, Daisy quickly turned her head to look at Harrison, who was still standing at the corner of the lift. “Oh lord, I’m so sorry.” Her voice was full of worries, “I ruined it, didn’t I?”

“No.” Harrison could barely make a sound, walking out of the doors with heavy steps. “I did.”

 

It was going to be a sleepless night without a doubt, despite how exhausted he felt inside. Harrison rolled himself to the other side of the bed, staring at the dim reflection of the lamp on the wall. Behind the orchard blossom wallpaper, he wondered if Tom was also lying in his bed with his eyes wide opened, tangled with million thoughts. And this assumption only made it harder for Harrison to fall asleep.

He couldn’t get the previous argument off his mind; those scenes kept repeating vividly around his head like a non-stop zoetrope. But every time he closed his eyes, Tom’s tearful face would immediately occupy the darkness. As the night fell deeper, there seemed to be no escape for his guilt nor frustration.

Eventually, Harrison jumped off his bed and started walking up and down in his room. He looked at his phone on the nightstand, but soon shook his head, knowing that sending hundreds of messages to Tom wouldn’t make the situation any better, and probably even worse.

“Christ,” he breathed, looking up at the wall again, “what do you want me to do, Thomas?”

As if it was the answer to his question, Harrison heard the sound of the closing door from the next room.

He raised his head. A simple thought instantly ran through his mind: Tom was still awake. Whenever Tom had a hard time putting himself to sleep, he would go to the bathroom to wash his face again and again until he’s calm enough to fall asleep. Though it was not quite a constructive solution, Tom still manage to keep this habit for several years. Harrison gave himself a bitter smile; he found it funny how he could recognise and remember every small thing about Tom, but never for once did he notice the way Tom felt about him.

Or, the way he felt about Tom too,

All of sudden, Harrison stopped his pacing and turned to look at the wall with his lips apart. The night was so dead that he could hear his watch ticking on his nightstand, and his heart racing inside his chest. He blinked his eyes quickly, feeling ten times dumber than how he already did. Tom was right—he’s one huge idiot, a tragic and hopeless fucking idiot.

Without wasting any time, he rushed out of his room and stood in front of the next door, ignoring the “Do not disturb” light and pressing the room bell.

There was no answer to his abrupt action, and Tom’s room was suddenly wrapped by silence. Harrison pressed the bell a few more times, yet the touch screen still stared back at him like a sarcasm. He took a deep breath, turning around in the hallway then came back to knock on the door rapidly.

“Tom, open the door, please.” He groaned, praying that he wouldn’t get complaints from the customers at the same floor. “Come on, Tom. I know you’re still awake. Open the fucking door.”

Not to Harrison’s surprise, the room was still locked, and the lodger wasn’t giving any response either despite the noise he made. His knuckles started to feel numb, until he finally lowered his hand. Harrison sighed deeply, leaning his back against the door.

“Right. I will just be here, ‘til you let me in.” He folded his arms, rumbling, “Or we can talk through the door, like they always do in the movies – guess you’re more familiar with that than I do. I don’t know, have you ever done that in any of your films? Anyways, looks like I’ll just be standing all night long, who knows. S’kinda cold here, but m’good. Ain’t spending all this time in gym for nothing. So if you want to—”

He didn’t get to finish his grumbling as the material behind him was suddenly missing. “Shi—” Harrison seized the doorframe before completely losing balance, then he saw Tom’s unhappy face above him.

“Uh,” Harrison uttered clumsily, “good evening.”

“It’s 3 in the morning, dickhead.” Tom rolled his eyes, dragging him inside and shutting the door in a hurry. “God, what’s wrong with you?! If we get kicked out by the hotel it’s all on you. You can’t just do whatever you want and—”

“Alright—hold on,” Harrison put up his hands in the air, “I know you must’ve got loads of shit to yell at me. But I came here to talk, not to fight again. Please. Or at least just…let me talk first, and then you can yell at me all you want.”

However, Tom only swiped away his arms. “No way. We’re not having another conversation, and you’re leaving my room.” he rejected, trying to push Harrison to the door. “I’ve already let you talk, okay? And allow me to remind you that—”

“—it was a total disaster, I know.” Harrison finished for him.

The strength against Harrison’s body diminished. He looked up at Tom, whom was still glaring at him. But the fury in those brown eyes somehow dimmed. Tom bit his lower lip, slowly receding from his temper. Then with a sudden thrust, he shoved himself away. “It was.” Tom crossed his arms and lowered his head, “So what else are you even trying to say?”

“All that I should’ve said.” Harrison replied in a mild tone, making a small step forward. Tom’s shoulder twisted. At first, Harrison thought Tom would stop him from approaching. But in the end, all Tom did was stand firmly, avoiding eye-contact with him.

“Hey,” Harrison cooed, “I’ve told you already, but I’m really sorry about everything.”

Tom pouted, not looking at him, “You don’t even know—”

“—I do know what I’m apologising for, Thomas.” Harrison finished the sentence for him again. This time Tom finally raised up his head, blinking with a little bit of surprise. Harrison walked closer to him, continuing, “Maybe I didn’t, because I was being real dumb, yeah, that’s the fact. And I can’t even explain why it took me so long to understand. But at least… at least I do now.”

The space between them narrowed. Tom was still holding himself in a defensive position, even though the tension in his voice already softened. “…Understand what?”

“That,” Harrison answered, trying to keep his pitch normal as he found his cheeks burning, “our feelings for each other are mutual.”

For a moment, all Tom did was staring at him with his body frozen. Then he frowned, musing for words to toss back, but nothing came out of his half-opened mouth. Eventually, he loosened his arms with a deep gasp and attempted to walk away. Harrison grabbed his hand as fast as he could, but Tom spoke out first.

“Don’t pity me, Harrison.” Tom faced at him. He wasn’t resisting Harrison’s touch, yet he wasn’t accepting the confession either. “I’m serious. I don’t want you to say this only out of sympathy or guilt. That’s not what I wanted to hear. You’re not obligated to—to like me back just because I was losing my shit.”

“That’s not pitying. It’s called  _realising_.” Harrison replied patiently, “And I’m not saying this only to make up with you. I’m saying because that’s exactly how I feel.”

“Feel about what? More like, ‘oh shit, looks like my friend’s catching feelings for me, I gotta do the same to save our friendship and hopefully it works out’. Isn’t it?”

“More like, no one ever made me feel this way before and I didn’t know what it was supposed to mean.” Harrison’s voice was calm but clear, “More like, I had never met someone so special that ended up becoming the major part of my life. Or, more like,” he wrapped his fingers around Tom’s, “I had never cared and needed someone so much that I didn’t even realise that kind of emotion is so-called love.”

Tom widened his eyes at him as his pulse raced in Harrison’s hands. Eventually, he heaved a slight sigh after a long silence. “I don’t know, Harrison. I’m not even sure if I’m convinced… I’m not even sure if  _you_  are convinced.” He shook his head slowly, “I’m just a complete mess.”

“I’m not any better.” Harrison reached out one hand to lift his chin up. He could feel Tom’s tremble through his fingertip. “But hey, I don’t mind being messy with you, together.”

A small beam appeared at the corner of Tom’s mouth, but he quickly held it by nipping his lip. “Greasy.” He muttered, dropping his eyes at their twisted fingers. “I used to talk so much in body language, but you never paid attention.”

“I was blind, physically. Wait—I mean, metaphorically.”

The smile Tom was concealing could no longer be hidden. So Harrison grinned back, pulling the shorter boy closer. “Well, at least I can read this one, especially for how much better it looks on you.”

“Yikes, quit being so cheesy.” Tom retorted, but the smile on him didn’t fade away. Their faces were only inches away as Harrison moved his hands to Tom’s upper arms until he could breathe the lavender fragrance in Tom’s hair. The rosy colour around his cheekbones that was approximately the same shade as those lips.

“Stop staring at me like that.” Tom whispered, in a tone that sounded more like an invitation than rejection.

“Then,” Harrison leaned in, “we’d better close our eyes.”

But he didn’t even give time for Tom to close his eyes before sealing Tom’s lips with his own. Harrison could sense Tom’s left hand against his chest, struggling in hesitation. For a second, he was even wondering if he would receive a slap or a furious push from Tom, but neither of those happened. Instead, the hand between them started climbing up, passing by his shoulder to wrap around his neck. It was hard for Harrison to decide where to focus, the tenderness he’s tasting or the distracting touching on his nape.

It was when they both ran out of the air for Harrison to finally break the kiss. Tom was gulping hastily. It almost seemed like he was mad again, with his eyes glaring at Harrison and his cheeks flushing. And all Harrison had in his mind was  _Tom is cute_. Yes, he knew that was the lamest idea he could come up with right after sharing the first kiss with his best friend. But  _hell, Tom is so fucking cute_.

“Haz—”

Not giving Tom more time to catch his breath, Harrison continued with the kiss a little rougher. His hands traced down to wrap around Tom’s waist, feeling his bare skin underneath the loose t-shirt. Harrison could feel Tom’s tremble as he ran his fingers around, climbing up Tom’s spine.

“You said…” Tom mumbled between the kiss, “you said you came here to talk.”

“I’m talking, physically. Uhhh, I mean, metaphorically.”

They both cracked a smile. Harrison removed his lips from Tom’s, giving more kisses along Tom’s jawline and neck veins. Tom let out a few suppressed groans while trying to slow Harrison down from leaving marks on his skin. And Harrison enjoyed the guilty pleasure, feeling the way Tom’s body attempted to fight against the sensation. But as he slid his fingers to Tom’s trousers, Tom immediately grabbed his arms and pushed him away.

“Not tonight, Osterfield.” Tom stated curtly, “I’m tired. And I’m still mad at you.”

Harrison was about to retort. But in the end, he chose to give in with his hands up. “Alright. Fair enough.”

“Now go back to your room.”

“No way. I’m staying.”

“Fine. Then stay all you want. I’ll just go sleep in yours.”

“Really, Thomas?” Harrison took a deep breathing, stepping closer with a smirk on his face. “That’s how you treat your  _boyfriend_?”

“Until you learn to stop being an asshole, my relationship status stays single.” Tom’s ears reddened as he threw a pillow at Harrison’s direction. “Get out of my room.”

 

The next morning when Harrison walked in the studio with two Starbucks in his hands, the Holland twins immediately raised up their heads, eyes widening. Sam took a quick look around the room to seek for their elder brother, while Harry put down the camera and crossed his arms. “Good again?”

Harrison shrugged in response, putting the coffee on the nearest table. Sam turned back to face at him with a little concern, “Where’s Tom?”

“Probably still sleeping.”

Harry checked the time on his lockscreen, “We should wake him up.”

“Nah, let him be.” Harrison took a sip from his café latte, “He’s been pretty exhausted recently, so I told him to get more sleep. A couple minutes late won’t hurt.”

“Oh, so you guys finally  _talked_.”

“Daisy said you two were quite intense last night.” Sam added.

“Yeah but we… talked it through, eventually.” Harrison felt a little bit embarrassed, looking away to change the topic. “So how was everyone last night? You guys had fun at the pool?”

But Harry didn’t answer. Instead, he was examining the cup with Tom’s name on. “Is that mocha?”

“Yeah?” Harrison turned his head, “Tom made me order it, saying that he wants something different today.”

The twins quickly exchanged looks with each other.

“Um, what?”

However, Harry neglected Harrison’s baffled sound and tossed another question, “Peppermint?”

Despite being surprised at the question, Harrison nodded and continued, “Well, peppermint white chocolate mocha, technically. But how did—”

The Holland twins both made a dramatic gasp.

“Oh my God.”

“ _Oh. My. God._ ”

“What?! What are all these omg’s for?” Their reaction left Harrison completely clueless. But Harry only proceed with a facepalm, mumbling, “He’s serious this time.”

“Dead serious.” Sam shook his head slowly in agreement.

“Huh? What does that even mean?!”

Harry continued to ignore Harrison and his bewilderment, “Holy shit, Osterfield. You really are somebody.”

Harrison was nearly hollering, “Excuse me? Does somebody care to explain?”

Neither of the younger boys replied to his protesting. Sam’s pretentious sighing turned into some weird giggling. Harry jumped off his seat to walk away while echoing “oh my God” on repeat. And Harrison only felt more frustrated than he already did yesterday.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Holland boys?!”

 

 **Harry Holland**  @HarryHolland99  
Couples are gross!

 **Tom Holland**  ☑ @TomHolland1996  
Replying to @HarryHolland99  
Subtweeting?

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> i like the idea of the holland boys having their own inside jokes and refs lol!! this was a mess. thank you for reading tho =)


End file.
